Friday, November 30, 2012

My Feet Hurt!

Yes, my feet hurt like a throbbing pain on the bottom of my heels!

I think maybe its due to me being on them ALL THE TIME. Or maybe its just my brain in overdrive making me think that. Whatever. Work at the group home is stressful now that there's a patient who seems to get into trouble with the other residents. Blah blah blah. And working at the restaurant, seems I can never sit down for more than ten minutes to enjoy a nice cold Coke.

The other waitresses say I need to get a life and that I need to "socialize and go out". At this point in life, I'm just working for the Money God so he can give me what I want. And that...I haven't quite figured out yet! But no, I broke it off with Annie, rather, it was mutual. She has to take care of her mother and I have school and work.

But my feet hurt! I wear my Sketchers to both work places but they still ache whenever I come home around midnight. Granted, I work three nights a week at the restaurant and four days at the group home. Well, the group home isn't so bad. And I love working with the day staff; the night shift are an asinine bunch, but I guess they have to be.

I think I might schedule myself for a massage a spa treatment next week. Sounds like a plan!

Friday, November 23, 2012

I hate feeling insecure

Relations with Annie is getting tense. She has to move back with her Mom who lives further away from her Dad making it annoying for me to drive in town, bring her to my place, and drive her back. What's worse, she doesn't have a steady job to offer to help pay for gas money. The Jeep is a gas hog. I'm a bit tight on money even though I have two jobs AND going to school.

I'm beginning to think I'm shallow and using her for some ulterior motive. Sex is good, don't get me wrong, but at this point, I'm not really sure its a relationship I want or just enjoy being single. The fact that I live out of town and most of my friends don't come around much because of the distance, its beginning to wear on me.

I'm not sure about a lot of things as of late, including missing my parents back in Florida. I spent Thanksgiving at work but they gave us free food and didn't take it out of our checks. I do, however, like working at the little restaurant as the owners are really nice to me. "You're a great waitress, Shannon", remarked the owner's wife.

That comment, at least, brightened up my day despite feeling lonely yesterday. I haven't seen or text nor called Annie in three days. I'm beginning to wonder if she notices I'm being distant or she has other things going on. She knows that sometimes I don't get signals to call or text her and that I'd have to drive into town to do anything.

I'm feeling insecure at the moment. Time to get ready for work at the group home. 

Monday, November 19, 2012

This made me laugh for a minute and wonder in awe at some people's driving. At 4:05, WOW! Wind shear probably.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Anything For A Buck

I couldn't think of an appropriate title for anything as I haven't blogged on here in A WHILE.

I'm really not looking forward to Black Friday and the ungodly amounts of people going to Walmart creating asses of themselves just to get a cheap sale. But then again, its the franchise's and other businesses who are to blame for spurning on the mass consumerism. Anything for a buck.

Don't get me wrong, I like  my job as I'm lucky to at least have a job, but I become more disillusioned with THINGS a little every day, further stifling my need to have more THINGS. In the end, when I die, I won't be able to take them with me. Just whatever I have, if that at all.

I looked on my schedule and I'm supposed to work a twelve hour shift on Thursday and I've heard assistant managers say of having different "blitz item" sales at midnight, 0200 and 0500. I've never been awake long enough to participate in a Black Friday event and reluctantly, I'm going to experience it this week. Yahoo.

Friday, November 16, 2012

I Made Pizza

I saw the recipe off pinterest and decided to make a pineapple with pepperoni pizza. I had it in the oven not just 15 minutes ago, but I got an urgent call from Cynthia saying her hubby was in a car wreck. I asked all about the details but she said they were in London and something happened. She said she'll call me later when she gets to the hospital.

When I came back into the kitchen, my pizza was burnt. My creation. I'll just have to settle for a microwaved tv dinner before heading off to work. The drama kids, one of them quit. I'm glad. The girl missed too many days and the owners let her go. I would too if I were the boss.

NO DRAMA IN MY RESTAURANT! LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS AT HOME! That would be one of my rules if I were to ever own a business, most likely a restaurant.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A Perfect Morning

Living alone in the middle of nowhere desert is almost a luxury that most people want. Me, I'm doing it because I'm house-sitting for friends. Its a nice place with nothing spectacular to it, almost looks like a rental house a vacationer would see online, but everything about it is ordinary. Cozy, is what I'd call it. A two bedroom upstairs with a bathroom in the master and one in the hall with a tub, no shower.

If I want a shower, I'd have to go downstairs. Whenever I come home from work, a hot bath is usually all I need to go to straight to bed. Maybe a warm body if she's available. The master bedroom is locked and is the only room in the house that is off limits. Understandable.

I was home yesterday but I had to finish up some school work and a strange feeling crept over me. I gave in to my primal urges and went outside, naked. Just sat out on the lawn chair for a minute. I think I maybe had a hot flash and needed to cool off. Wasn't too cold, in the mid-sixties and sunny. I pulled the reclining lawn chair to the side of the house where it was warmer, had my favorite sunglasses and laid there. Nothing on, but sunglasses.

Then I got a cold skin chill and went back inside the house. I didn't put any clothes on, but spent most of the day doing housework in the nude. It feels good not to wear any clothes sometimes. I had the radio blasting upstairs in my room and I thought about calling Annie for a little get together, but I declined the attempt. I just spent the day by myself.

A perfect day to relax. :)

Monday, November 12, 2012

Kids These Days

Alain and I share this blog, but he hardly ever posts. And when I ask why, he says "Life interrupts". Mmhmm. Likely excuse. :)

So much drama at the restaurant. There are these two kids, young lovers, barely out of their teens and they constantly bicker that I'm about to tell them to grow up or get a room or don't bring your problems to work! Drives me nuts and its a constant back-and-forth thing. The girl is really insecure, but she's not dating the guy. I mean, they USED to be lovers, USED to live together, but they're not anymore yet they act and behave like they're still together.

Girl: "Are you mad at me?"
Guy: "No. I don't date around like you do."
Girl: "But we're not together."
Guy: [shuts up, doesn't talk]
Girl: "You are mad at me."

Back and forth and every time I work with them. I was telling Alain this and he told me over the phone, "Sounds like the girl is insecure. Never dip your pen in company ink. Meh. I don't care about kids these days. They'retards."

Hahahaha!! I asked Mr. Toasterface he should come out here and visit me and we could catch up on life. I miss you, you crazy old fart! <3

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Too Many to Count

That's what I told Chelle when she asked me how many jobs I've had in the last year. Almost all of them were temp jobs from agencies I've worked with, but I can count at least two dozen that I worked for a few hours and got paid for them through craigslist.

She said, "Isn't that dangerous? I mean, do you know any of those people that you got daily pay from?"
Me: "No, not at all. I try to do a little research on the addresses and where the neighborhood is and if its a creepy neighborhood, then I totally avoid it and scratch it off my list. Sometimes the day jobs are in places where I've met an acquaintance there or I've had friends who have had dealings with that person or company, but yes, I research the place where I'm going to be doing a job for. Sometimes, if I'm in the neighborhood, I'll just stop by and check what the job is abou!t."
She: "Wow! You've got some cajones there! I could never do that."

So currently I'm a server for a small restaurant and to 'get my feet wet', I also work part time in a girls group home. I was thinking of becoming a counselor for a family practice thing. I had this bright idea to be one since Rafi's little niece seems to think highly of me. I don't know why. I just talk and listen to the kid and hang out with her like a Big Sister. The kid is in her teens like 15 and was asking me about boys and the conversation shifted to careers. I told her I haven't decided on what I want to be when I grow up. The girl said she wants to be a policewoman.

I'm waiting for my clothes to dry so I can be off for the restaurant. Fun times.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Weight Watching

Annie and I were at Wal-mart last night.

I called her right after I got off my long shift--10 hours, and I asked what she for breakfast and that I would pick her up if she met me in town. She had her mom drive her on her way to work. I picked her up at her favorite book store.

As we entered Wal-mart, my senses were blasted with images of mass consumerism. I haven't been in a Wal-mart store in about a year and I'd forgotten how much I hated being in one. Most of the time, I go shopping at the local grocery store or if I need ammo, I'll go down to this gunsmith friend of my father's and he'll have fresh reloads ready whenever I come down to Phoenix to pick them up.

I headed straight for the produce section and picked out a bag of Russet potatoes, grapefruit and then to the bread section. I also bought two pounds of pork steak which I'm going to marinade and put on the grill later tonight. I'm off today from both jobs and I'm still ahead on my school work! Amazing, isn't it? :)

I bought some other things including spices, coffee and filled our shopping cart with four cases of bottled water. I probably won't go through them in a month, but I've been stocking up on water. I saw on a CNN documentary...or was it a History Channel show that water in the world is drying up. Dad even asked if I was prepared for winter and that's one of the first things he went on about, "Get some water!" OK Dad.

As we were leaving the store, I was making a mental image of how almost everything people eat nowadays is either made of sugar or salt. I'm a naturalist so I prefer all the food I consume to be in a non-sugary, non-preservative laden state. I almost became sickened as I was checking our groceries out, and along the way out, there were even more products like gum and soda to bombard me with impulse buying.

Since Annie has been staying with me, she reminds me of the things we should eat and drags me out of bed every morning to run. Its not even a marathon, but I make it out to be one, running from the mailbox and back up the gravel road. I love Annie but running isn't my thing. I mean, I COULD stand to lose a couple of pounds, but not THAT much. I tell her, "I'm building up my fat storage for winter." :)

Monday, November 5, 2012


Annie and I went shopping at the mall yesterday and it felt great to be inside a semi-cool environment as our sunburned skin welcomed it. I got a slight burn around my face. We decided not to go to the Salt River; too crowded with people, so instead we drove a little ways out of Tucson to visit the Biosphere, a man-made biological experiment out in the desert.

Alain said he and Angela had a good time visiting it almost five years ago...but that was five years ago. When it was hustling and bustling in its hey day, the Biosphere had a small workers' compound beyond its borders, all of which are abandoned now. Well not quite, but there are a few people that stayed on to run the place.

The place reminded me of the old seventies movie with Bruce Dern, "Silent Running".

Saturday, November 3, 2012

A Lazy Saturday

I've noticed that certain phrases or words are underlined in my blog posts and when I hover over them, it leads to another site. WTF? I should check the Blogger settings.

In other news, I have all weekend off!! WOO HOO!!

Mindy, Chelle, and Annie are over and we're thinking of going down to the Salt River for sun, fun and a soak in the water. I haven't been out with a group of people in a long time.

Currently listening to Katy Perry. This tune makes me smile! Annie and I blossomed this past week and I feel like in total bliss with her. I don't know if its love but I can't stop thinking about her when she's not with me. I'm not entirely into girls, but for now, it seems I so head over heels for Annie. Maybe the novelty of this new romance will wear off in a few months, I give it that but for right now, I'm totally enjoying Annie's company.

Chelle and Mindy, they're straight and when I told them I was with Annie, they're cool with it. I didn't get any weird looks from them and they asked if I've turned to the lesbian side. I said I haven't, but Annie is my girlfriend at the moment and that's whom I'm with. Chelle and Mindy aren't looking for anyone, not yet maybe. They both just broke up with their boyfriends recently and we all decided to make it an all-girls weekend!

Friday, November 2, 2012


Most of the time, I don't remember my dreams except the one last night or rather, early morning.

I was riding on Speckle, one of the two Arabian horses back home, but in my dream, I was riding naked. At first I felt embarrassed but when the wind touched my body, it felt great! Anyway, we came to this canyon in around midday and the sun seemed to retreat behind these clouds. I heard my name being whispered and I couldn't tell at first because the sound was bouncing off the canyon's borders.

Speckle stopped at this little grassy patch next to a stream. There were still clouds in the sky, but the atmosphere grew ominously dark. There was this little girl talking and laughing to herself. By this time, I had forgotten I was naked but the little girl didn't seem to mind. She started talking to me about the clouds. I looked up for a minute and back to her face.

The little girl's eyes were red, dark red and she said, "Forget about the girl".

Then Annie woke me up with a call from Christina, who was moving to Prescott. Annie asked who was Christina. I told her she's sort of a drama queen and I don't talk much to her. I took my cellphone from Annie and Chris wanted me to help her move because she had a new job that paid more than waitressing at Buffalo Wild Wings. And something else about sick family.

I was hoping I'd get to spend my day off in bed. Sleeping. But nooo.Chris said she'd pay me $50 in gas and treat me for dinner. She also said she'll tell me more about her job. Sure. I'll be off for her place in an hour. I'll have to take Annie back to her Dad's because I can't just leave her here.

Or maybe she can come and help me move Chris' things.

Options. I have lots of them today.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

How Can We Touch

This song by Patty Smyth, "Hands Tied"....I love this song! I don't remember if I've posted it or not, but I can listen to this song on Repeat at least 15 times a day before I get tired of it. I was driving in the Jeep earlier today, just down to the mailbox which is maybe a quarter mile down the gravel driveway, and I picked the song up on the radio. It came in staticky at first, but towards the middle of the chorus, the song was very clear.

I sometimes think of songs I like as omens like when I'm having a bad day and say for example, Lindsay Buckingham's "I Think I'm in Trouble" comes on the radio. Next thing I know, my tire goes flat. In the middle of nowhere US 89. Fortunately, I have a bunch of tools and random camping gear stowed in this 35 gallon Rubbermaid tote for just such emergencies.

I can't really trust random strangers because I start to think to myself what people would see me as: "Oh look, what a lovely young buxom blonde girl, stuck in the middle of nowhere. I think we'll have some fun with her."


Before I moved out to college, Dad had all us kids run the ranch, including working on all the machinery and if it ever got to the part where we didn't know what we were doing, he called the tractor mechanics out and have them tell us what to do or what it was we did wrong. I remember when I was 20 and Mom told me to bring food to my Dad and brothers up on the north pasture. I used the 4-wheeler to get there but on the way back on the rocky road, I hit a huge rock and flipped the ATV on its side.

Dad and Jack eventually came down to where I was and helped me. The ATV wouldn't start and I was cursing at it. Dad went on home. Jack laughed and said, "OK dummy, what's wrong now?" "Shut up, douche" I said. "I think...wait, yeah". The spark plug coil was loose and wasn't connecting. I jump started on it again and after a few more tries, the engine bleated back to life. "Race you back home!" Jack was on foot! He was hoping to drive my ATV with me on the rack which is a bad place to be because its not padded.

Dad told us not to depend on others, "just do it yourselves, but always be prepared for anything". Annie said yesterday, "Why do you have so much crap in the back of your Jeep?" I'll tell her stories of when I was growing up on the ranch some other time. But for now, I'm just going to give her a big hug and lots of kisses when I see her tonight! :)