Friday, November 12, 2010

No Martial Arts!

I had to attend training for my new job -- I work in a stand-alone (away from the main campus) lock down facility that is a psych hospital, where we were doing standard blocking and escorts yesterday. The instructor, a huge muscle-bound, yet light-hearted man, was explaining the basic moves in avoiding a straight-forward punch, a round house attack and an upper cut. When it came to my turn, my body reacted ... I've been in the mental health profession for nine years and in the first two years, I was constantly being hit cuz I didn't know. Even though I was taught as per company policy, all that goes out the window when you freeze in fear.

I froze a time or two, but I quickly learned after a few hard knocks. So in the class yesterday, my body instinctively reacted to the instructor's moves. He then said, "Hm, we have someone who knows what he's doing", telling the class.


Well uh, yeah? Then I had to repeat the same blocking motions and a one-person escort carry on another student, an RN. I thought I did it with ease. She, said (we were in the middle of the room, demonstrating to the class), "My god! You're quick!"

Yeah ... my ego shot up exponentially yesterday. Even before then, I got the feeling that all the night shift RNs like me. As I was walking back to get my stuff after classs, another tech on floor asked, "Are you done with the in-service?" I told her I was, and made tried to be facetious when I said, "The instructor said I failed cuz he said I was using martial arts". She just laughed and said, "Don't mind him. We need you on the team."

I felt appreciated.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Body Aches

I think I might have pseudo-gout. Pain in the elbow joint of my right arm. Sometimes I feel like cutting the arm off. Might hurt a wee bit. Or getting an 18 gauge syringe and busting the synovial fluid pressure in my joint. SOMETHING. I can deal with the pain. I don't care for pain killers or pain pills. Ibuprophen is good enough. Maybe if I just think of myself in the Himalayas, freezing my ass off, not thinking about the pain.

Yeah. That's the ticket.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


My butt hurts the longer I sit on this little black stool.

Otherwise, I don't have anything important or life-threatening to blog about.

Wait, I did link my R-rated, explicitly obscene, disgusting and sick, sadistic mind candy called my wordpress blog to my facebook account. In doing so, the site got over 450 hits in less than a half hour. I immediately unlinked it ... cuz it might prove disastrous. Don't want my family reading my mischief.

Monday, September 13, 2010


I have this friend that I miss more than others. Andrea. She's a cattle rancher who works with her Dad in Washington but also have lots of land in Idaho. This morning she text me that she was going to build more fence in Weippe. Last time I saw her, she had scars up and down her arms from fence building. She's a rugged farm girl with all heart; maybe that's why I miss her so much.

Hmm. I get sentimental sometimes. After I'm done with nursing school, I plan to go see her again. That's the current state of affairs anyway.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Ur Mom Blows

I really HATE updating my resume. I spent almost all day; off and on, writing and rewriting it over. I just finished thirty minutes ago. I'm calling it a night. And I still have to get a job!

On top of that, I'm usually NOT up this late, but since I had to get my resume down for beating feet tomorrow, I might as well stay up and pittle on the internets. Not that I'm here 24/7 like my friend, Christina, but close enough. I can't sleep. Shouldn't have drank that iced tea Cheryl made last night.

So this is all about me posting random tangential thoughts aboot .....

Sunday, August 29, 2010


I'm forcing myself to blog/write/type.

I'm having a hell of a time looking for a second job, which I really need to do so I can get into nursing school / respiratory care next June. That's all for today. I'll be on the road again tomorrow looking for jobs.

Yeah. That's all today.

People Are Scary

It just occured to me that people in general, gone soft. That meaning, they've lost touch with nature and depend on technology to get them through the day. After working on an isolated farm for three months, I've begun to have a new outlook on life. I was telling my SIL that I'm used to not having much. A minimalist, as I'd call myself.

Take for instance, being on that farm in the hills of Southern Washington and Northern Oregon, I rarely saw people and what people who drove by the house, they were mostly vacationers on four-wheelers going trekking the canyons on their ATVs. And when there weren't anyone around, I'd go about my usual chores of cutting thistle and picking rock. Every now and then, I'd encounter a rattlesnake and it soon found its fate at the blades of my machetes. Oh yes, I've become quite adept with two machetes ... after clearing out acres of thistle a day.

I say people have gone soft is because they depend on their electronic gadgets such as the iPod or iPhone to help them keep in contact with the outside world. Up in the canyons, we don't get cell phone signals and sometimes the rains would flood out the bridge and we'd be stuck out for weeks at a time. On the land, we carry guns or machetes because we never know if there's going to be large predators such as bears, mountain lions or wolves about in the area. I sometimes carried an AR-15 rifle, but was most always comfortable with a machete in my hand.

I posted a profile pic of me with my rifle and immediately a dozen people dropped me off their facebook friends list. Pppftt. Stupid. We had a lot of firearms as home protection since we never knew who or what would visit us.

My Butt Hurts

I haven't been keeping up with this blog or my main one at wordpress. I've had a lot of setbacks the last few months and its affecting me in ways I've never thought possible. I've somewhat lost my writing spirit.

And the longer I sit here, my butt hurts.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I Give Up

Ever have those days when no matter how you think or try to think positively, everything turns to shit anyway? Dammit. I broke my vow to stop cussing. Oh well. Life goes on. Angie said she adopted a new cat. First thing that went through my mind was "Great. She picked up another stray". But when she said she got the cat from the Humane Society, my fears were lessened. I figured she needed another cat since Roo and Squeek got taken away by hawks in the area.

I'm just wallowing in my negativity at the moment cuz I can't seem to unzip the fucking free fonts that I've downloaded on this laptop that's going to be another use for heavy ass paperweight. Fuck it. Its the end of the day. I'm feeling heavy aggression welling up deep inside me not to destroy this piece of technology that doesn't work.

I really wish I was with Angie. She's in Nevada City and I'm stuck for the moment, in Tucson. Can I blow my head off now? GRRR ...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Oceanfront Property In Arizona

Yeah I know. Its an old George Strait tune, but I call Arizona, home. I was raised in South America and when my family moved to the US when I was a wee toddler, our port of entry was Buffalo, NY. Talk about a climate shock. We stayed there til I was a teenager, then moved to OK and in my young adult years, I settled in Arizona. Actually, I was living in KY around 2001 and in the summer of 2002, my brother called and asked if I would take over his lease so he could move in with his girlfriend. I took the opportunity to move to a WARM, ARID state. I'd had enough of snow, no sunlight, and freezing cold.

I took these on a short hike outside my backyard ... which is the Tucson Mountains. 

We call the Saguaro cactus ... "Tucson trees".

Not like oceanfront property ...but you can see the sky and mountains for miles.

The Gila Wilderness

I was driving down the sort of back road to the Pima Animal Control Center to put up a poster of my lost cat and I suddenly flashed back to vacationing two summers ago in the Gila wilderness in New Mexico. I can't say I travel a lot, but lately, it just seems that way. Last month, I was in Las Vegas for a couple of weeks for a job and then we went camping in the Catalina Foothills. I made a video of myself and my then ex girlfriend whom I called "Dr. Girlfriend" cuz she was an RN who also traveled a lot. Perfect pair we were. Then. I called her Dr. Girlfriend cuz I hated her first name; which reminded me of some dumb bimbo off Baywatch or something. She didn't like her name either, but its a funny thing though. We got to the level of comfort to where we really didn't call each other by our first names; more like she'd call me "sweetie" and if I wanted her attention, I'd just say, "hey Red" due to she was a redhead.

I'm a hot springs aficionado and here's my crude video -- as in crappy camcorder crude.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Damn Cat

My cat’s been gone for five days now. I’m guessing he either got eaten by coyotes or someone picked him up. He’s friendly enough. I also found out that there’s a “cat nazi” that lives in the neighborhood and shoots at cats. I don’t exactly know which one, but the neighbors tell me of it. This makes me even more hostile towards stupid people. If Roo doesn’t come home soon, he’ll get sick. He needs to have his insulin shots which I give him nightly. He was ketoacidotic in Pet ER and almost died of diabetic coma. Dropped three grand on the little shit. And now he’s gone.
I figured he’d at least have the decency to stick around til I paid his damn vet bill off, but NOOOOO.
So I printed up posters and put an ad on craigslist with a reward. No responses. I even went so far as posting in the Humane Society's lost pets sections. They haven't called. I remember seeing a terrier in the Lost Pets binder at the front desk with a thousand dollar reward. Its still missing. Sadness.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Idiots Out There

I went to Traffic Survival School today and was constantly reminded to watch out for the other guy who could be an idiot who thinks he/she owns the road. "There's a bunch of stupids out there". It was an all day event starting at 0730 AM and ending at 1600. Watched a few enlightening videos but mostly got to listen to the instructors with their information. I'd say it was entertaining as informative cuz I feel I know a little bit more than when I went in there. My mind is blank. Got up too early for it. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz *M

Monday, March 1, 2010


"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?"

-- Renton from the movie "Trainspotting"

I choose to have a life. I get to travel all over the place. Within the past month, I put 5,000 miles on my car. Living in a car blows, but not as much as having a crop so I choose to have a life at ENJOYING life. I'm finding out who I am. I'm finding out I can make a living out of nothing. I guess that's all right, for now. I miss working. I miss having a steady job. I miss punching in the clock. Literally.

At my last job, we pushed these hard buttons and at times, I would lose my temper and knuckled it ... like a Cro-Magnon ape. I remember one time, this hot MILF was behind me (I didn't know she was behind me) waiting to punch in and I was knuckling the time clock. Then I sensed her presence.

I felt really primal then.

Currently hard-wired to my old apartment that I'm leaving today. Cleaning and moving sucks. I kinda feel like Renton in "Trainspotting" in the last scene where he's got the money on the run from Bagbie, whose blowing piss out his ass cuz the money's gone. And I like it that Renton gave a share to Spud so it was a happy ending. Sort of. I know people like Bagbie. Worse than me.

I rented out my apartment for the gem show and the last renters turned it to shit. I told Christina that I didn't want people with dogs but she told me they were obedience dogs and going to keep them kenneled. I needed the rent money anyway ... to pay for Roo's surgery in Pet ER. The renters left my apt fucked up: window blinds ripped and the bathroom linoleum in shreds. And when they couldn't pay, they said they'll come back and get the mess cleaned up. So while Angie and I were at my place cleaning, one of them tried to come back but left once she saw us STILL at the apartment. Angie got some of her precious stones amounting a few hundred bones and I was tempted to pawn the chick's laptop. Who'd want a Macbook anyway? They were Cali hippies so they didn't have anything of value except the rocks. I'm still broke. I'm not repairing the blinds or linoleum -- which has another layer exactly like the one that's ripped ON TOP OF IT.

So yeah ... I'm kinda abandoning it. What can they do, evict me? No job to pay for the next two months rent so I'm back to living out in the desert at Angie's. She's in school in California. I was tempted to ask some people to put some hurt on the renters who WERE also from Cali. I could do that. I can do that. But I'm not. Angie keeps telling me about the Three-fold. She put a hex on them so I won't have to deal with it. Besides, she's closer to them anyway.

-- So I'm somewhat like Renton ... in the choosing part. I don't care for drugs, but choosing is always good. Its like being on a smorgasbord: you get to choose anything you want. I got lots to choose now. My sis, Hazel, sent me some money to go back home to OK til Angie gets out of school so I think I'll go visit my family for a while.



I find myself fascinated with the human digestive system. Basically, all we (humans) are, are walking mouths with a tube going in and out ... kinda like a water hose. In between there, if the body has no use for what you eat, it gets processed and compacted in the small then water is drained and nutrients removed in and ...

Heh! I'm catching reprocessing that info and spilling it back on here. I have this new outlook on food. We grow it and once its in our hands or mouths, that's the last light of day its ever gonna see! Yes, I'm so base in my thinking. I often amaze myself.