Friday, November 23, 2012

I hate feeling insecure

Relations with Annie is getting tense. She has to move back with her Mom who lives further away from her Dad making it annoying for me to drive in town, bring her to my place, and drive her back. What's worse, she doesn't have a steady job to offer to help pay for gas money. The Jeep is a gas hog. I'm a bit tight on money even though I have two jobs AND going to school.

I'm beginning to think I'm shallow and using her for some ulterior motive. Sex is good, don't get me wrong, but at this point, I'm not really sure its a relationship I want or just enjoy being single. The fact that I live out of town and most of my friends don't come around much because of the distance, its beginning to wear on me.

I'm not sure about a lot of things as of late, including missing my parents back in Florida. I spent Thanksgiving at work but they gave us free food and didn't take it out of our checks. I do, however, like working at the little restaurant as the owners are really nice to me. "You're a great waitress, Shannon", remarked the owner's wife.

That comment, at least, brightened up my day despite feeling lonely yesterday. I haven't seen or text nor called Annie in three days. I'm beginning to wonder if she notices I'm being distant or she has other things going on. She knows that sometimes I don't get signals to call or text her and that I'd have to drive into town to do anything.

I'm feeling insecure at the moment. Time to get ready for work at the group home. 

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