Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Ex men

I'm never doing that schedule again. Ever.

How did I not know? Seriously?

I'm talking about Jessica's brother...Brian. My ex! Jessica, night shift nurse from tele. She was talking about her boyfriend and how he's moving out then the conversation switched to her brother this morning when we went to the park. Yes, I'd just gotten off my last haul and then I WENT WALKING with Jess at the Buruss Park on South Cobb Drive. My feet hated me, but the woman was in tears over her boyfriend woes. I was just an listening and sympathetic ear. And I don't swing that way.

Then she went on and on about her brother in the Army in Afghanistan, Brian. Curious, I prodded her for details because she made him sound like this guy I went out with in nursing school, Brian. Then I quizzed her about certain features of him a dimple on his cheek and certain tribal tattoos he had on his chest and arms. When I said that, we both stopped\ in our tracks.

"Wait, how do you know he has those tattoos?"
"I went out with this guy named Brian in 2006. Why? Do you know him?"
"Oh my god, Sarah! He's my brother!"
"Wait, what? But he doesn't have your last name."
"My mom remarried and he's my half-brother! I didn't know you guys dated!"
"I didn't know he had a sister."

So we talked and talked and talked and talked. And talked some more. And my feet didn't hurt anymore.

I hate Brian. He always seems to drain me emotionally because I was so head over heels for the guy and he decides to move far away. He said he didn't want to interfere in my career, and what does he do? Goes off and joins the Army without telling me. No word where he's going. Just drops out of sight and out of my life and all I could do was cry, cry, cry my head off. Its a wonder I even passed nursing school. Something like the disappearance of someone you love tears you apart to where I don't know how I survived. No phone calls, no returned texts, no emails. No more I love yous. Nothing.

And then a card six months after nursing school with the words "Code Red" and I knew it was from the jerk. We used to drink that super sugary soft drink on the nights I had to study for major tests. In that card, was a Post-It note saying, "I didn't want to interfere in your new career. Yours Always, B". He's not mine. I'm so done with him. He's the epitome of fear of commitment! Why are guys like that? I poured over day and night for a year trying to figure out what I did wrong to have him leave me like that. In limbo.

I hope I never see that bastard because I'll probably kill him. With my car. And a crowbar.

And some nails.

And yet, I still love him.

Sarah, you need to let him go.

I would if I could...

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