Sunday, April 22, 2012

Tales From the Cuckoo's Nest

As soon as I was on the floor, I got report yesterday and I had the run down on what the patients did for the day side. One note I found interesting, if hilarious. A patient was detoxing and he was sitting at a table with his peers during lunch. He suddenly got sick and vomited on his tray. He got up to put his tray up but stopped at another table to vomit on his peer's food. Then again at another table.

Crop dusting via vomitus.

Yeah. It WAS funny at the time. Still is.

There's this male RN who likes to "crop dust" in the nurses' station. This means he farts behind on nurse and moves on to another until he's done his business with all the staff. Then he moves on to the nurses in the Med room, which is a small confined area. 

This guy was on the phone talking to his girlfriend. A patient comes up to the coffee counter, gets two empty plastic coffee pots and in each hand, smacks the guy on his head with them. The phone guy was completely off guard. The female patient then yells, "Stop stealing my flowers you sick bastard!" The man looks up at the woman, drops the phone, and punches the woman in the face.

The patients who were watching tv, clear the room. None of the staff move in to restrain the guy, who goes promptly back to talking to his girlfriend. The woman fell hard on the concrete floor. She never messed with anyone using the phone again. This was kind of hilarious too. Usually, I'd drop a patient for punching people, but this was a completely unprovoked incident. The woman suffered no external wounds except maybe a fat lip.

Everybody feels PAIN and crazy people know that they can get hurt. I have to find humor in human tragedy lest I go crazy myself.

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