Sunday, May 12, 2013


Sometimes I feel like just dipping off the earth. Taking a reprieve from life. Being a zombie and feel no pain, but the more I think about it, that's totally NOT me. I like to feel. I like to experience the richness of hurt and the pain of living. Kinda like self flagellation to a point.

I........................don't think I want to take that job in mental health somewhere near the Kansas border.
1-- too far from home base and family
2-- the people I'll be staying with as roommates do a lot of drugs
3-- don't feel like getting involved in a bust
4-- the job is in some janky border town
5-- the pay is decent, better than what I'm working now, but there's HURT involved
6-- by HURT, I mean, I could possibly get hurt or I could hurt someone really bad
7-- I'm still dealing with PTSD from the last job/ which brought out military PTSD

I'll have to hustle a second job then.


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