State of the Nation

So a coworker and I were talking about the current presidential candidates and he asked me who I would vote for. And I told him "first of all, I'm brutally honest so whatever I have say will probably piss you off, but since you asked..."

"One: We have a weakling president in office and he's running this country into the ground. And then he gets together with a terrorist nation to sign a nuclear deal with them? Whatever happened to not making any deals with terrorists? And his entire term, he wants to do away with the Constitution and the Second Amendment. Fuck that!

Two: But getting back to your question...Donald Trump will get my vote as will Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina. Maybe Marco Rubio. But I like Ted Cruz' style. He doesn't mince words and gets straight to the point like when he totally DESTROYED the ICE director Saldana on releasing dangerous illegals into the population. So after Trump, I'd vote for Ted Cruz."

Coworker shut his face. He's a Democrat...I'm sick of them and their front person Hilary Clinton.

Poe - Hello

Yeah...I LOVE this rock version of the original.

Flag Controversy

This is the Confederate flag. It is part of American heritage and is sometimes referred to as "stars and bars". As with everything, people take symbolism to the extremes. just like the swastika was a symbol of good fortune for THOUSANDS of years till Hitler bastardized it to the Nazi symbol of oppression, brutality and death. EVERY symbol has its origins. I, myself, think of the Confederate flag as part of US history and heritage, not hate.

Plus...I think it's a cool looking design.

San Andreas

Sam and I mended our differences.

We saw "San Andreas" yesterday in Hiram. We thought it was a good movie, way better than "Avengers 2: Age of Ultron". The Avengers movie seemed like a re-run and although I liked seeing new characters like the Vision and Scarlet Witch, the whole plot didn't seem appealing to me.

But San Andreas, yeah that one topped Avengers, which was a disappointment to me. San Andreas is a natural disaster movie...kinda makes me think if California could really be ripped in half like that, barring all science-fiction stuff.

I enjoy being around Samantha. She makes me happy most of the time. I guess best friends get on each other's nerves sometimes, which is completely understandable.

Got the day off. Going to a blueberry farm in South Georgia. Ono gave me directions. Been craving blueberries. And its a deal--$2.50 a pound! AWW YEAH

I wanted to go to the Crime and Punishment museum in Ashburn, but Atlanta traffic ALWAYS SUCKS with delays for no reason and that cut into my time for exploring Georgia.

Pure Sexual Energy

'Pure sexual energy'...those three words are what I describe my best friend..

I've never encountered anyone like her in my long life. I hate talking about sex cuz I have a strong addiction to it--mostly with her, and if I can't have it, then I'd rather not talk about it. My mind goes OFF--literally shuts down my consciousness and puts me in a brain fog.

I never knew this about myself till recently. It was like, I was thinking about her 24/10. She was becoming an addiction, an unhealthy obsession and I had to step back and check myself.

Why am I feeling this way?
Is this what our friendship is based on?
Do I objectify her?
When is the next time I'm gonna get some?
I need a fix!!

Yeah addiction. I've never thought of myself as addicted to anything and I don't have an addictive personality...but obviously, I do.

Scares me to depend on one person for my needs so much. I didn't want to use her. But I didn't know how to go about telling her  either cuz it might affect the great friendship that we have. We're not comfortable in our lives to start anything such as a relationship. At least, I'm not anywhere near comfortable in my life to put anyone through torture with my chaotic life. I know this about myself.

So yeah...I'm being self absorbed for this post. Doesn't happen often, but I know what I want. The thing is...I love her dearly yet I was obsessed with her at the same time, like what she was doing, what was going on in her life and how I could interject myself into her environment...and I was completely avoiding mine. And I began to wonder how I got here. How could I help someone with their life when I couldn't deal with mine. She was being an escape for me. TO ME.

I ww..............fuck. I had a thought and completely lost it.

Tomorrow is college testing, advisor meeting, and after, I'm gonna treat myself to the beach and get some natural healing energy of waves and sunshine...without stepping on dog shit.