Open to Close

That's my new schedule. Awesome. Closing time is at 2 AM.

It will take some time getting used to this. I don't know if I have the motivation to adjust to this. We'll see.

I ha d an awesome holiday yesterday though. I hung out with Christina and Zack and some of their friends, but as we were headed off to Christina's friend's place, I got a text from Mindy saying she was out of town and wasn't able to get to my resume. Hello? I asked to have it back a week ago. I don't know what's wrong with her, but it seems like she's just too busy to work on it or she doesn't care if I have it or not. I might just have to update it on my own.

I would say, I have some sun on my skin. Actually, a mild sunburn. Arizona has dry heat, whereas, Florida is humid heat and you burst out in sweat the moment you step out of the house. For me, anyway. I'm looking like a blond BLONDE now. Jacob, one of the shift managers, asked me what I was doing for the holiday and I told him I was going to hang out with friends. Its seems like I'm suddenly "popular". Maybe I shouldn't flirt with my coworkers as much as Christina. I like being on the NOT ON ANYBODY'S RADAR mystique. As soon as I get off work, I go straight home--the house that I'm watching for the summer up in the boonies.

I'm being very vague with this as I don't want coworkers to come pinpointing where I'm located, with the exception of Christina, Zack and Mindy. Maybe not even Mindy anymore. I feel we're becoming distant. Jacob asked me if I was old enough to serve liquor too. Heelloo? I told him and he said, "Gosh, you look so young for your age. I'm sorry." Hmm. I wonder if I should take that as a compliment.

Yesterday, it was Christina, Zack, Jose, Samantha, Debbie, Denise, and Marilyn at Samantha's place out in the sticks. Literally. Nobody for at least 15 miles in any direction. Samantha and her fiance, Chris, who is deployed in Afghanistan, live there by themselves. Jose is Zack's best friend from high school. Denise, Debbie and Marilyn are Christina's former coworkers with Samantha. One more clarification: Debbie is Jose's girlfriend. And I don't know whether Denise and Marilyn are an item but they were both interested in me as I caught them staring at me when we were talking in the hot tub.

I brought my Walther P-22 since its small and lightweight in my backpack. That's the first thing I told Christina and Zack when I rode with them. Some people get antsy whenever I tell them I have a firearm in my possession. They were OK with it. They keep a 12 gauge shotgun at their place. Zack is 31 and is a little older than Christina who is 25.

I think I'll take a nap before I have to go to work and stay up till closing time. Ugh.

Financial Peace

It took me a year to read this book when my brother gave it to me as "something you should read". I ignored him, of course, as he's sometimes an over-bearing prick.

This time last year, I was in an unhealthy relationship as well, which also drained my creative juices. My ex was a few years younger than me, and she was completely Ms. Wrong in every way and manner. I guess at the time, I just NEEDED somebody...then it dawned on to me that I wasn't happy. I actually lived from paycheck to paycheck, a bad routine to have etched in my life.

I was willing to work through the muck of the relationship but we just seem to fall back on the same groove of argue/make up/argue. Mostly about financial matters. I'm a tight wad, and at times, impractical. I also have impulse-control issues, I'll admit that. The relationship just wasn't working out--I'd save money, but the stress of being with the ex just kept draining me as she mirrored my impulsiveness all too clearly. In other words, we weren't meshing as originally stated. It was just the novelty of a new relationship that was appealing and against my better judgement, I found myself becoming emotionally invested in the unhealthy union.

While I was going through that unsteady affair of the heart, I picked up this book one day...and couldn't put it down! I'm usually a slow reader, but that one day in August, I read almost to the end of the book. In it, Dave Ramsey explains his story of having it all and then being broke and all the measures he took to not scrape and the bottom again. Its been a while since I've read "Financial Peace", but I still implement the basics of it into my personal life like having an emergency cash fund. That part my brother engrained into my head cuz in his words, "Shit happens on a daily basis and you can't predict the outcome of life, so be prepared. Have something to fall back on so you won't be stressed out like you are now."

After reading three quarters of the book and applying some of the fundamentals to my way of thinking, I can safely say that I no longer look forward to counting days to payday. I'm still a money whore, that part won't ever change, but if I can at least plan for my future without having to worry about being in huge debt, I will. In my prepper mentality, its nice to have a Plan B, C, and D.

Its also the Boy Scout motto to "Be Prepared".

Karma's A Bitch

I was talking to Shannon on the phone about how and what we can do to the site and I get several interrupted beeps. I looked at the screen on my non smart phone and it was an unknown number, but I knew it was from someone at work. I don't reply to unknown numbers unless I have them tagged on my phone. After the second text, I didn't even give it a second thought as the person never identified herself. I say that gender with utmost certainty.

Then the 7400 suffix pops up on my screen and a smaller menu giving me the option of "Send to voice mail" appeared which I promptly chose with severe prejudice. I kept on talking to Shannon cuz I'm not letting anything like that interrupt something rather pressing.

I later read the texts from unknown person. She was pleading to have me do a 1:1 with a "tough guy" cuz he'd punched a woman in the face enough to send her to the ER. Then the other text read "Call in pay and $25 for every four hours". Whatever.

This is coming from the same people who put me on mandatory leave and had me go see a therapist for my "anger issues". RIGHT.

You want me to do my job? I'll do my job. I'll be firm and fair, but don't send me to a therapist cuz you think I have anger issues. As of this writing, I'm seeing a counselor of my own choosing due to my PTSD, not anger. Its more like frustration cuz I can't get passed the trashcan to the face, but I'm being enlightened as to why I'm feeling this way. There's other stuff going on which is the deeper root of the problem.

Alternator and everything else

I had the upstairs neighbor take a look at my van--its an old Chevy Astro van. Not only did the vehicle not start, there a was a huge leak from around the oil pan!!

Its like the van just went up and died while spilling its guts out because it knew I wasn't going to fix it. I thanked my neighbor for all his troubles and gave him $20. He's somewhat in the same boat I'm in. I don't want to, but I'll have to call my parents on this one.

As for my life, I'm currently finishing up a semester at UWF (University of West Florida) before I go back to the ranch. Not really looking forward to it, but hey. Its home. And home is where the heart is. Up til today when the van died, I was on the wait staff at a local steak house. Bare minimum wage plus tips. Busting my butt and going to school with little time for a social life.

I guess I really don't need one at the moment, but it'd help my 'social networking' skills as I'm lacking in the field. I don't like my coworkers: the bus persons, the other waitresses, waiters, but the cooks are nice to me to say the least.

On top of it all, I need new glasses. The screw on the left lens came off as I got hit with a football last weekend at the beach. I happened to have the right of way, but the douche who threw the ball said he was aiming for his friend who was nowhere near me. I think there's a conspiracy.

I don't have time to think about it. Just get my check for this week, pay for new glasses and then home sweet home at the ranch. I feel much more confident when I'm home instead of the city. Granted, I have my pistols with me, but some how, I just feel safer at home instead of this ratty student ghetto.

That's it for now. I'll keep you updated.

Ms. Money Whore

Its official! w00t ... now i have to come up with content. Nice. I'll rely on Shannon for that. I'm sure she has a lot to say. :D

Head Gasket

The van is busted. Damn head gasket.

We're looking at a major overhaul. I don't know if I should even go ahead and get it fixed. There's other things wrong with it that I have no clue as to what. Like whenever I break, there's a loud screeching in the wheels. And it over heats. And oil leaks. I might as well just sell it to the junkyard and get another beater.

I hate this. I'll have to pay my sister, Charlotte, to give me rides to work til I can afford another lemon. Or I'll have to dip into my emergency cash and get a dependable car which I'd rather have than another beater. This is my third beater. Its getting old.

I haven't picked up any extra shifts because I don't my coworkers any more. I don't care to socialize with them. I think I've grown out of them also. Meh. I think I'm going on the job hunt. Minimum wage sucks balls. And having no van just blows too. 

Crapola.

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

Hi, I'm Shannon!
The other day I was walking down the street to a neighbor's house and this guy pulls up in a late model Caddilac and asks if I wanted to go to a party. Now, I don't normally talk to strangers in old cars and I flatly told him No. He persisted. Not to be rude, I stood there for a minute and listened to what he had to say. When he was done with his schpiel, I pretended to stretch with my hands in the air so he could catch a glimpse of my concealed carry High Point 9mm handgun strapped in its holster around my belt loop.

I'm a smart girl. I don't leave home without my 9mm. A little bulky at times, not as concealable as my Ruger LCP .380, but it does make for a good flash under my t-shirt. These are dangerous times and a girl's got to know how to take care of herself. *wink, wink*

Ever After

There's no such thing as "happily ever after". Every relationship requires work.

I've been in a funk lately. Can't seem to pull myself out of it.

I've been busy since the last time I posted. For one thing, the Director resigned and we've had no one in charge to oversee the daily workings of the facility. I've grown more and more distrustful of my coworkers, so much so that I've blocked a few of them from my phone. I've never had to do this before and I think its for the better. One instance, two people whom I've come to trust had a falling out.

I think there was a personal vendetta going on there.

I don't know what has gotten into people nowadays. It seems the company encourages them to turn each other in for minor infractions. I couldn't do that to those whom I call friends.

Once you've wronged me, it takes an eternity to gain my trust back.

In other news, I've moved to a new apartment and I'm working out and going to the gym more frequently. Something to do to pass time.

Isolation is the oxygen mask your children breathe to survive

I isolate a lot. Can't help it. People get on my nerves. They irritate the crap out of me. So, whenever I get home, I usually stay there and only venture out if I have something absolutely necessary to do. Maybe if I'm lucky, a friend will call and I'll go meet her somewhere but that rarely happens since I don't have many friends to begin with.

Work interferes with a lot of things including friendships.

I turned my facebook account on for the first time in two months. Too much drama on there and I lose connection with the people that I do have as friends. Mostly because some of them just spam my feeds with emo crap. Like they've broken up with their significant others and have a need to broadcast to the world their heart breaks.

I don't care. Maybe that's why I'm not on there much.

On another note, I turned down three extra shifts this week. My leg needed to heal so I ignored my phone the past three days. Its still sore. And somewhat painful.

LAB Rules

My work schedule starts on the weekend so my actual days off are during the week. As I was reading my book while sitting on this guy, Melissa comes thru the door and as soon as she sees me, she drops her head to the floor without saying Hi or greeting me. That gives me the impression that she's ashamed of herself or some guilty feeling. I'm at the point of indifference or disgust with her presence.

LAB makes me feel good about myself. She calls herself The Fat Lady, but she's actually more man than woman. LAB is cool as hell and I love working with her cuz she makes me laugh and vice versa. She made me realize, er come to an epiphany the other night: there's lots of fish out there and all this time, I had blinders on. She even shared her food with me when she didn't have to.

People have been referring to me as "muscular" and "built" but I don't know what they're talking about about. I mean, I go to work and do my job and these compliments just seem to pop up out of nowhere. I did tell LAB that I got her back if shit were to ever go down. I love working with LAB cuz she makes the shift enjoyable and even though we'll get some crazy nights, she doesn't beat around the bush like the others do.

Wing Commander

So the Director tells me that I should take the Outsider under my wing and teach him the ropes. And also tells me that I should try to be nicer to people. Uh huh. I take this kid and tell him how its like on the 2nd and 3rd shifts. He seems to pick up well.

He's learning quick. I feel like a proud mother hen. I think the Outsider is grateful that I'm teaching him that he bought me lunch and breakfast. He also told me more of his home life.

I think the Outsider will do good things if he lasts...

I have 116 hours as of today. I'm happy, yet tired.

Sheltered

So I get called into the director's office and he has this complaint against me from the Outsider saying that I'm creating "a hostile work environment" for the new guy. You gotta be shittin me. Seriously?

I have a long talk with the Director and he's going on and on that I (and my coworkers) need to take the Outsider under our wings and show him the ropes of how we do things and if there's another complaint, it will be my "First and Final", what he in his omnipotent power likes to call it. Granted, the Director and I get along, but he's been flooded with complaints from the Outsider that other coworkers aren't treating his sheltered ass right. Or that we're too direct. Or some other bullshit. The Director told me that the Outsider has 90 days to "get it" or he's out.

Sure I'll take the FNG under my wing, but he better learn quick or else he'll get into a serious world of hurt. And not by me.

And if he starts messing with my money, its going to get personal.

Uncharted Waters

The Milieu Supervisor called me just as I was waking up to say that he wants to see me in his office before I head on to the staff meeting in the morning. Me going in to see any upper management for any reason spells trouble. Or maybe he wants to lecture me on my attitude towards new douchebag coworkers.

This is not boding well. I try to call him back to see if I was in trouble and the HUC says he's gone for the day. WTF. I'd just gotten off the phone with him not even two minutes. Currently feeling like a Russian icebreaker in iceberg-filled waters.

Threat to the Collaborative

The outsider is a threat. He's making himself known. He's hungry, but it won't last long cuz I'm going to quell his thirst. He just can't step into my territory and expect me to pay homage to him. He has to earn it and so far, he's going about it the wrong way as he's in line to get his ass kicked.

And no one will help him.

I told the outsider that if he has a beef with Charles, then he has a problem with me. He suddenly got on the defensive as he was trying to cover his ass. I saw right through his transparency and called him on it. Then I told him he was invading my space. I had to tell him that he's not the know-it-all he thinks he is.

Body Aches

I think I might have pseudo-gout. Pain in the elbow joint of my right arm. Sometimes I feel like cutting the arm off. Might hurt a wee bit. Or getting an 18 gauge syringe and busting the synovial fluid pressure in my joint. SOMETHING. I can deal with the pain. I don't care for pain killers or pain pills. Ibuprophen is good enough. Maybe if I just think of myself in the Himalayas, freezing my ass off, not thinking about the pain.

Yeah. That's the ticket.

10/10/10

My butt hurts the longer I sit on this little black stool.

Otherwise, I don't have anything important or life-threatening to blog about.

Wait, I did link my R-rated, explicitly obscene, disgusting and sick, sadistic mind candy called my wordpress blog to my facebook account. In doing so, the site got over 450 hits in less than a half hour. I immediately unlinked it ... cuz it might prove disastrous. Don't want my family reading my mischief.

I Give Up

Ever have those days when no matter how you think or try to think positively, everything turns to shit anyway? Dammit. I broke my vow to stop cussing. Oh well. Life goes on. Angie said she adopted a new cat. First thing that went through my mind was "Great. She picked up another stray". But when she said she got the cat from the Humane Society, my fears were lessened. I figured she needed another cat since Roo and Squeek got taken away by hawks in the area.

I'm just wallowing in my negativity at the moment cuz I can't seem to unzip the fucking free fonts that I've downloaded on this laptop that's going to be another use for heavy ass paperweight. Fuck it. Its the end of the day. I'm feeling heavy aggression welling up deep inside me not to destroy this piece of technology that doesn't work.

I really wish I was with Angie. She's in Nevada City and I'm stuck for the moment, in Tucson. Can I blow my head off now? GRRR ...

Oceanfront Property In Arizona

Yeah I know. Its an old George Strait tune, but I call Arizona, home. I was raised in South America and when my family moved to the US when I was a wee toddler, our port of entry was Buffalo, NY. Talk about a climate shock. We stayed there til I was a teenager, then moved to OK and in my young adult years, I settled in Arizona. Actually, I was living in KY around 2001 and in the summer of 2002, my brother called and asked if I would take over his lease so he could move in with his girlfriend. I took the opportunity to move to a WARM, ARID state. I'd had enough of snow, no sunlight, and freezing cold.

I took these on a short hike outside my backyard ... which is the Tucson Mountains. 

We call the Saguaro cactus ... "Tucson trees".

Not like oceanfront property ...but you can see the sky and mountains for miles.