For me, exs are what exactly they are; EXt out of my life because something between us--me and them, didn't work out. I was reading an old email that was sent to me from an ex boyfriend back in 2011 and I couldn't read the entire thing because I couldn't get passed all the name calling and crap mentioned in it.
It will probably take me another year or so, maybe even five, to actually read the entire email. With the exception of Annie, I don't think I could ever date an ex again. Annie, however, wears heavily on my heart and mind. I often think of her and how she's doing nowadays.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Isolation is the oxygen mask your children breathe in to survive
Internet has been sucking balls lately so I haven't been posting as much as Shannon. Two jobs: one at a paper mill and the other at Wally World. Yeah I don't have much time for blogging most days cuz I'm either sleeping or working. And that drains me quite a bit.
And all this time, I've been trying to gain weight. I'm a shadow of my former self. I used to weigh in at 182 lbs. and now I'm down to 168! I've never weighed this less! And working two jobs is taxing on my body. Granted, I can now fit into my clothes from three years ago and those were the tight ones, but I've also had to buy smaller pants sizes as well as shirts.
And I dumped my girlfriend. It was mutual maybe, but more so that I initiated the dumping. She got on my nerves with her neediness and always wanting to know where I am when she clearly knew where I was. And what pissed me off MOST about her, is that I kept asking her to get a fucking job cuz "we're in a strained relationship, spending money I don't have, and you're on your ass at home wanting to go places. I can't wine and dine you all the damn time". She tried once or twice, but fucked it up saying she's on disability with mental illness, some butt ass reason, which equals another LIE to me. I can understand the mental illness part, but using it as a crutch not to get a job? Hell, I have hostile oppositional antisocial tendancies, but at least I get a job so I won't dwell on self loathing. She may have been valedictorian in her high school, but she's accustomed to being lazy and knows how to manipulate people to enable her into being a couch potato...which she clearly is.
I think I'm destined to be a loner lone wolf. Meh, I don't care. I don't have time for relationships anyway. Working too much.
That's my take on life as of late.
~toasterface
And all this time, I've been trying to gain weight. I'm a shadow of my former self. I used to weigh in at 182 lbs. and now I'm down to 168! I've never weighed this less! And working two jobs is taxing on my body. Granted, I can now fit into my clothes from three years ago and those were the tight ones, but I've also had to buy smaller pants sizes as well as shirts.
And I dumped my girlfriend. It was mutual maybe, but more so that I initiated the dumping. She got on my nerves with her neediness and always wanting to know where I am when she clearly knew where I was. And what pissed me off MOST about her, is that I kept asking her to get a fucking job cuz "we're in a strained relationship, spending money I don't have, and you're on your ass at home wanting to go places. I can't wine and dine you all the damn time". She tried once or twice, but fucked it up saying she's on disability with mental illness, some butt ass reason, which equals another LIE to me. I can understand the mental illness part, but using it as a crutch not to get a job? Hell, I have hostile oppositional antisocial tendancies, but at least I get a job so I won't dwell on self loathing. She may have been valedictorian in her high school, but she's accustomed to being lazy and knows how to manipulate people to enable her into being a couch potato...which she clearly is.
I think I'm destined to be a loner lone wolf. Meh, I don't care. I don't have time for relationships anyway. Working too much.
That's my take on life as of late.
~toasterface
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